I’m not ready to tell my mother that I don’t plan to have kids. Keeping this secret is hurting our relationship.

After a decade of going back and forth, I now know that I’m not going to have kids.

When I was in my early 30s, my mom would frequently mention a neighbor of ours, who didn’t have kids. In my mom’s eyes, she was always in a bad mood. Despite not knowing the circumstances of her childless life, my mum ‘knew’ that this was the root of all of her problems. Needless to say, I felt uncomfortable whenever my mum talked about this woman — possibly hinting at my future — and it made me not want to bring up my own choices when it came to having children.